Cause > Effect

November 2, 2009

 

How do you choose to live your life?

Do you live your life from a place of cause or effect? And how aware are you of the difference?

There are very few people who truly live from a place of cause all the time. Many people spend far too much time in effect, meaning that they see their life as something that happens to them, and allow the outside world to dictate who they are and how they respond.

 

When one is at cause, they are taking responsibility and actively deciding what they want in life and how they will achieve it. In NLP and coaching, we use the analogy of “being in the driver’s seat”. When one is in the driver’s position, they can look out at the world as full of possibility and opportunity, and move in any direction they choose. This also means, when things are not going their way, they accept their responsibility in the situation, and explore other possibilities, realizing in each moment that they have the power of choice.

When one is at effect, they feel stuck and like a victim. They see the world as happening to them, and often blame others for their circumstance. When in effect, there is a general feeling of powerlessness and dependency. A person in effect will often rely on others to feel good about themselves, and they seek externally to find happiness. When the only way to really feel good about oneself is from the inner. Thus, the person in effect, feels like a victim of circumstance, because they are choosing to give their power to others.

The irony is, that when one feel like a victim (in effect), they have put themselves there, and have actively chosen to be in effect, give their power away, and minimized their choices.

One can, in any moment or circumstance, choose to be at cause. Choose to sit in the driver’s seat, accept where you are, and what you want to do about it. Look at your options and see the possibility. You are the only one in charge of your well being (physical, emotional and spiritual). How will you choose to live?

Take note when you fall into moments of effect (and we all do). Then, without judging yourself, cultivate awareness, and step into cause. You may find it helpful to remember, that there are no un-resourceful people, only un-resourceful states. We have the power in every moment to choose our state. What do you choose?

 

Alyssa Huntley

http://www.eleveneleven-coaching.com

eleven_eleven@sympatico.ca

 

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