Handle Set Backs with Grace

July 16, 2010


Re-framing the situation and looking at it from a different perspective, allows you to find where opportunity lies in any misfortune or mistake. Most of the time what holds us back and makes us feel bad, is our perception of the event, and not the actual reality of the situation. Our quality of life, is based on 10 % what is happening, or has happened; and 90 % on our reaction and perception. Marcus Aurelius stated the fact elegantly “If thou art pained by any external thing, it is not this that disturbs thee, but thy own judgment about it.”

Judging your mistake or problem with blame, guilt, shame or worry, will only keep those feelings circulating and accentuate the negative of your situation. Those judgments and feelings don’t allow you to move forward. By using the re-framing technique; basically looking at the situation to see where the opportunity and positivity may lie in it, you open yourself up, rather than closing yourself down. And by opening yourself, you’ll find possibility for more success. It is more than just seeing the glass as half full, rather than half empty; while the optimistic view is beneficial, re-framing doesn’t sweep the problem aside without dealing with it. It faces the problem responsibly and finds a positive note on how to rememdy the situation, and then move forward with heightened awareness.

All successful people and success stories, are full of set backs that have been overcome before reaching the top. What sets these people’s stories apart from many of our own lives is not luck or brilliance, but rather their perspective and attitude when the down turn comes. These people don’t give up or wallow in their suffering, they re-frame, find the opportunity and learning, and know that they are not further from their goal, but in actuality are closer to their goal, and in the process of becoming more successful.

Your time is much better spent solving any problems, than sitting in remorse. Take action right away when a set back occurs. Ask yourself, what TWO action steps you can take, so that this mistake will not happen again, and also that will help you to move ahead?

Begin to welcome your mistakes and misfortunes, for without them, you wouldn’t learn from the valuable lessons they hold.

Your Own Personal Life Coach ~

Exercise:

Go over a recent set back in your mind and re-frame the situation. How can you look at it differently, to find the positives? What adventure and opportunity lies in this situation? How can you look at this event as a means to future success?

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