the never ending search for perfection

October 29, 2010

Do you seek to have the perfect life, job, figure, income….? Ever feel like no matter how much you accomplish it’s never enough?


Perfectionism is a way of living in a make-believe world. It’s an assumption that the world we reside in now, is imperfect, and that an other way would be better. It’s easy to confuse our preferences with what we think is perfect, when in reality, they are not.


When one looks at their world as imperfect, it keeps them from seeing clearly. Where one is this point in time is perfect, based on their choices in the past, and only when one realizes this can it be changed. A perfectionist stance, compares different pictures of what could be, rather than being present, and accepting what is. It’s a “grass is always greener” on the other side perception, and wastes energy on a future time. It over rides emotions and numbs oneself from feeling One can never truly appreciate where they are, when they are constantly seeking something different.


To slow down the perfectionist mind-set, look inward. Notice the times when you feel the drive of perfection and stop for a moment. Locate your emotions and where they are coming from. Is it possible your behavior is trying to numb that feeling? Know that no amount of re-arranging the outer world will heal those feelings or eliminate them. In fact, the more you mask them with perfectionist activities, the stronger those buried emotions become. And the more you focus on perfectionist activities, the more you’ll see that needs to be done…and the more deficient you feel. The only way to resolve the downward spiral, is to listen and respond to your emotions, when they arise. It may not be easy to look at those areas of yourself that hurt, but when you do, it opens you up to really experiencing your heart and levels of living that you never thought possible.


Your Own Personal Life Coach:

Begin to look at your emotions as inner messages, not obstacles or feelings you would rather not experience. Look inward to where you feel less than perfect, and using the simplistic technique of sincerity, let go and be honest with yourself. Start by acknowledging anything that is unresolved within. Talk, journal, or just recognize the truth, sitting with that feeling (even when it is uncomfortable). Create a deep sense of honesty with yourself.


Coaching for Life: Alyssa Huntley

published in the lindsay daily post Oct. 1 2010


dita von tesse



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